If you see a biker with a green and runny nose…

don’t think it’s funny! The application of Dr Beecham’s powders has failed to stem the flood, and, in the absence of a small dutch boy to put a finger in the dyke, I am forced to ride looking like Russell Crowe in Gladiator. The ancient Romans invented the Sponge on a Stick to use during their communal ablutions and it is abundantly clear to me that Touratech need to turn their Teutonic imaginations to something similar that can reach up inside a helmet and let me blow my nose. Athlete-style pinching between fingers is a desperate half-measure, but after my adventures with fuel cans last week the tips of my gloves are covered with petrol. Petroleum Jelly may be a popular skin defender but in unleaded form it’s just painful.

I read somewhere that the cold virus doesn’t like extremes of temperature, a fact which I held onto as consolation while having to ride in the sub-zero dawn with my visor open (yes, the special BMW Insta-fog coating is still working well). Didn’t help – clearly I have the polar bear of viruses which sticks its purple tongue out at minus 0.5 and takes shelter in my sinuses. Keep your fingers crossed for me that when I get back to Ruby this evening my helmet will still fit…..



Filed under Riding

2 responses to “If you see a biker with a green and runny nose…

  1. Rio

    One of the finest inventions of humanity is Sudafed decongestant nasal spray. One (painful) spray up the nose and it will be drip free for hours. As a teacher I’m never without it as I spend my entire life with biochemical hazards (or, as their parents call them , children).

  2. Didn’t Bill Cosby do a routine on the Glazed Doughnut Monster, and the effects of a runny nose on a 2year old ? Look on the brightside though, any snot blown onto the inside of the visor will probably act as a defogger

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