….really pisses off other road users. Yes, Mr GS-with-the-adventure-panniers-the full-BMW-adventure-clothing-range-and-the-nuclear-powered-headlight, I’m talking to you. For a long time, the people who’ve been getting stick for bringing biking into disrepute are the sports bike boys pulling wheelies and posting the carnage to YouTube, but I think we have a new problem – the Ewannabe, who’s seen Long Way Down, can afford all the gear….but forgot to learn to ride.
The object of my disaffection first came to my notice last night on the A45 thanks to his bizarre filtering style – sit 18 inches from the rear quarter of the vehicle you wish to pass. Wait. Wait some more. Screw up courage, screw open throttle and blast 6 feet forward to the next vehicle. Resume position. At all costs don’t let the bike behind (me) pass you and leave you to it. Given that I am often mistaken for a courier (I like to think this is because of my hi-viz jacket and A-Z, rather than any comment on my riding style), I feel this man’s days may be numbered anyway, for I’ve always understood that if you hold up a courier for too long they’ll remove your testicles when they finally pass you…
…I left him to it and got in with the job by filtering between lanes 1 and 2 in the end. About an hour later on the A14, stone me, he’s back, but now it’s dark and he’s compounding the misery of the motorists he’s trying to get by by blinding them with his superbright headlight and spotlights. The car in front of him is just about scraping its mirror on the armco to make room for him to pass but he’s not going.
I’m no saint, I know that, but I only turn Ruby’s spots on on the motorway if I’m politely encouraging the person in front to vacate the lane leftwards. When this guy was behind me I couldn’t see to change lanes, I had to let him go past – which perhaps was what he wanted. I don’t know what logic leads people to think that blinding everyone else is OK as long as they can see what they’re doing – but I do know that every car driver he was behind on his journey home last night will be thinking “bl**dy Bikers, should be banned.”